Finding Mom's Potential Is A Kids' Key, Part III

Although most people are unnecessarily harsh in their assessments of his/her self, it is easy to become too hopeful when you start breaking down barriers. If, for instance, you love music and want to be a singer, it would be unrealistic to set your goal to be a singer when you sing off key because some talents are inborn. But if you are knowledgeable about the music business and would be happy being involved in another capacity, then it would be reasonable to pursue a career in that business.

Caution, don’t make reasonable goals unattainable because of a stringent time frame. When you set a goal, you will most likely set times for achieving the steps along to achieve your final goal. Even if you don't set the time frames formally, you will probably have a pretty good idea of how long you are giving yourself.

It's wise to sit down and formally set these goals. Think about it and give yourself reasonable time to achieve them. Make a deal with yourself to make these time limits flexible. Life has a way of interrupting.

Don't get discouraged if things don't work as planned. Sometimes finding our place takes both time and error. All of us experience failure. The key is to view the failure as a learning what not to do. Remain flexible. As long as you keep focusing on your talents and potential, the right piece will come along - and probably sooner rather than later. But don't quit! Even if you have truly found your niche, you will not feel enthusiastic 100 percent of the time.

Don't worry about others - don't compare your progress with others. No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone else who looks like she's getting where you want to go faster and easier than you are. Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. Who really cares?

Focus on your own achievements. There is NO room for competition…work to develop your skills and talents to their full potential. If you must compete, compete with yourself.

Your short term goals should be based on today's accomplishments. If you have reached Point A today, make Point B your next objective - improve yourself and don't worry about the other guy.

OK. You have decided what your ultimate goal is. Make sure it is a well-defined goal. "Someday I want to be famous" just doesn’t cut it. Define exactly what you want to do. Define a legitimate time frame. Know what you have to do to get there. The smallest detail is not important but the big picture and many of the big details do matter.

If you have a goal in mind but don't know what it takes to reach it, then you need to find out. Do some reading, talk to people who know, ask questions and LISTEN to the answers.

Does this sound like a lot of work? It should, you are doing what is needed to be successful and happy. One phrase is very true… “Happiness isn’t free.” Because those who have it know you have to work at it.

Anyway, a little research into what it takes to reach your goals isn’t too difficult because it is something you want to do.

Train yourself into making this "research" the next chapter of your life. You will be focusing on your strengths, on your purpose, and on learning and doing. If you have chosen a goal that is right for you, focusing on these things and devoting the necessary time should not be too difficult.

It may take a bit of self-discipline at first, but your determination and interest will carry you through until the focusing process becomes a habit. When you have a real desire to accomplish something, your initiative should only require an occasional shove - you may need to give it a nudge every once in a while.

Get into the habit of visualizing your success. Not sitting around and daydreaming in generalizations. I mean, you need to visualize specifics. Picture in your mind how you will work your play to your goal if your opponent makes a play. What will your next response be, how will you react? Visualize the specifics. If you run through the specific moves in your mind, you will be prepared.

Don't be afraid to use your imagination to visualize new and better ways to accomplish things. In your mind, do the things in ways that are different from your usual response. This is a creative process called creative thinking. Thus, training yourself to think creatively is largely learning to let your imagination work on methods that are different from the "way things have always been done."

This is breaking away from the idea that there is only one way to do something effectively. It's looking at a problem from all angles. Asking "what if" is a great place to start. It's OK to think “out of the box”. But, you must also spend some of your thinking time at specific visualizations of the moves you need to make to accomplish your goals.

Physical practice of your skills is also critical to success. Practice the boring little skills that are necessary as well as the skills you enjoy. Don't let yourself rely on just the things that come naturally and easy to you, work your weakest assets to develop them. Work on developing the more general attributes that are important to any goal:

1) Success comes more easily to those who have an agreeable personality (don’t bend over backwards to please every person’s wishes, but be respectful and true to your beliefs).So be flexible, accept other’s ideas, seek out and learn from others;

2) Learn minimize emotional responses. We are all susceptible to errors in judgment; strong reactions have little place in decision making, however. Hold your emotions in check. Try to delay decisions if you are in an emotional state. Learn to ignore your emotions and use reasoning to arrive at your decisions;

3) Develop the habit of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is a magnet - it draws people and success. It's a pleasing personality trait that people like to be a part of. Be contagious - it sparks initiative and purpose; and

4) Develop the habit of focusing on your goals, on your strengths, on learning and "researching," on visualizing, and, of course, on enthusiasm.

Now you need to assess if your habits that may be annoying to others. Offensive habits can hold you back from success. It will be very difficult to assess your own habits accurately. After all, a habit is something we do without thinking much about it. You will have to spend some time at this and be very conscious of yourself. Ask someone you trust to help you and then substitute that habit with a more pleasing behavior.

OK. Now, you have set definite goals, you have a purpose, you have researched and know the specific steps to take to achieve the goals, you have resolved to be flexible, and to further develop your pleasing personality. Now what?

Well, success will not drop into your lap overnight.

As you advance toward your goals, you will come against some difficult people, and there will be times you'll need to deal effectively with them. Since you are working on becoming a nice, enthusiastic person and a team player, you already have half the battle won. Your attitude is as important as the other guy's attitude when you are dealing with difficult people.

Keep in mind your job is a training field for you. View your job as a paid opportunity to advance toward your goals. You will be a happier, a more productive person. Viewing your job in this manner will allow you to view the difficult people you come across as an opportunity to grow. From them and the situations they create, you will learn to negotiate with, side-step around, and draw out the best in others without letting yourself become upset.

Each time you successfully deal with one of these people you will gain confidence and friends to add to your support network. The skill of negotiating is not a contest of wills - it is working together to solve a problem or come to an agreement. It is an opportunity to learn.

- Be prepared,
- Know who you are talking with (always know as much as possible about the person, this information will be the most effective way to get your point across).
- Know the issue - not just your opinions about it.
- Always enter into negotiations with a calm and reasonable manner (be courteous and leave them a chance to save face).
- Be prepared to face people who are not calm and reasonable (don't let them get to you).
- Play "Let's Make A Deal," (be prepared to not get everything you want).

To develop your potential to it's fullest, you need to become a more a efficient and effective person - get more done in less time with magnetism. The first barrier to efficiency is procrastination - putting off getting started. Like Nike, “Just Do It!”

So how do you beat procrastination? Get organized and plan ahead. Know what you want to accomplish and make lists. Now look over the lists and rank the tasks in order of importance. Make three or four groupings based on importance. Within each group, star the things you least like to do.

Each day you will have a "today" list to work on. Tackle the tasks that are most important first. If you have several "most important" tasks, do the least liked things first. When you have accomplished a task, check it off. You'll be surprised at the sense of accomplishment you will have at checking things off.

Do you see what is happening? You get the most pressing, least liked tasks out of the way early in the day when you are fresh and rested. As the day goes on you will feel less and less pressure. You have reserved the less important tasks for the end of the day when you will be more tired.

With this system you will increased your efficiency and reduced your stress because stress gets in the way of efficiency. Another important part of efficiency is delegating. If you are in a position where you have assistants or designated people under your supervision, you need to learn to delegate. If you are not in such a position yet, you still need to know - since you're working on developing your potential you very likely will be some day.

Delegating work is difficult for many people. Some find it hard to ask others to do things for them - others find it hard not to demand that others do tasks. Delegating is an art.

First, you need to realize that the people under your supervision are PEOPLE. You should never demand - it takes away self respect. People who are asked to do a task, are given explanations and clear instructions, and are praised for a job well done will grow self-respect and loyalty.

When you delegate work, don't delegate just the "junk" tasks. Delegating important task shows them your respect for them and the faith you have in their abilities. So, it's a good idea to save some "junk" tasks for yourself. Perhaps the most respected and effective boss is the one about whom the crew says, "She never gives us anything to do that she wouldn't do herself."

All of us have untapped potential, perhaps even areas of genius, we have neglected to develop. What ever your concept of success, developing your potential will help you achieve your goals. If you learn to assess your potential, set realistic goals, and go after those goals with determination, organization, and purpose, you will use your potential more fully, gain confidence, and be a happier and more successful person.

Mom's Potential Is A Kids' Key, Part II

If you go after “happiness”, directly, it is as vague a goal as self-esteem is. They are elements of our persona that are there inherently, yet only continue to thrive if nurtured and exercised. So, the secret to achieving these characteristics is to focus on other things.First, focus on your gifts/talents. Begin by listing an accurate assessment of your potential. To do this you must take an inventory of yourself.

Sit down and make a list of all the things you can do well. (Hint, the more honest you are with yourself the better.) Then, make a list of all the things you like to do, even if you think you can't do them well. Then, make a list of all the things you would like to do, if you could (no exceptions, no excuses). Now list your hobbies.

Now,go back to the list of things you do well. More than likely you are being too hard on yourself. Most of us are. We often have tiny voices in our head telling us things like: "You're so dumb,"; "You can't do that"; "You never do anything right"; or some similar nasty things. The worst part is we have listened to this voice and allowed it to stop us from doing what we want to do, like it has authority over us!

Don’t do that any longer! Don’t let that voice continue to control your life and happiness. Just think… that tiny, negative voice has influenced so many of your choices in the past. What if your true, authentic voice took over and revealed the truth?

What if you told yourself to do all those things you wanted to do and you believed it? Can you imagine how strong, successful, and happy you would be? Turn that disruptive, demoralizing voice off! Although it can be hard to do at first, once you do it will be SO liberating! You can do it!

Then add a few more things to the list of things you can do well. Pretend you are your best friend. Write a note to yourself (it's amazing how supportive and encouraging we are with our friends!).

Now that you are your best ally, you should be able to add a few more items to your "do well" list. But do be honest - don't list things you feel you really can't do well. Next, go to your list of things you like to do but you feel you don't do well.

Speaking as your own best friend, do you think there are some things on this list that could be moved to your "do well" list? More than likely, there are. If you like to do it,chances are you do pretty well at it. Now, do the same with your hobby list.

Next,go to your list of things you would like to do if you could. Ask yourself, "Why can't I do this?" Put your reasons on another list.

OK. So you have a lot of lists going – what is it worth? Well, you have just made an assessment of yourself. If you have been truly honest in making these lists, it will be a pretty accurate assessment.

Even if it is not, it is OK because this assessment isn't carved in stone. It's subject to change (just like you!). But for now we will workwith what's on the lists. It is a great place to start.Look over your lists again. Are you focusing on all the things you feel you can't do and the reasons why you can't do them? DON’T!

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO - FOCUS ON YOUR POTENTIAL. Make it a habit to focus on your strengths. Write them down on a little paper (maybe a word or two to remind you of the whole list) and carry it with you and look at it every now and again.

Plus, include your undeveloped potential, as well. Train yourself to focus on your abilities instead of your limitations.Just because I am asking you to focus on the “can do” pieces, don’t ignore your list of excuses for not doing the things you want to do. But look at as “How can I make this happen?” Make your “limitation” not important.You see the difference?

Focusing on your excuses allows your weaknesses to make your decisions for you. However, focusing on your assets lets YOU make the decisions. When you' decide to overcome your limitations with something you really want to do, you will be more determined to develop your strengths to compensate.

Then,you will do well, because you will be doing what you really want to do. Thus you are developing the full potential of your strengths. Very few people concentrate on fully developing any of their strengths.

Deciding to master a skill takes dedication and drive. Now, you have the edge. You know your true disadvantages but your will, your purpose, will drive you to fully cultivate the talents and skills you do have.

So, what is your greatest interest? What are your natural abilities? Go for it. Devote yourself to something you really like to do. Don't choose something just because you think you could make more money at it.

Do the work that you love. If you don’t love it you won’t work at it to develop your full potential. You may start with enthusiasm, but you will soon fall short and it will be a chore to work.

It'll become difficult to work on improving your skills because you won't like what you are doing. No doubt, you won't be working up to your potential. Your success will be limited by your lack of interest and your happiness will surely be affected.

On the flip side, if you devote yourself to something you really like to do, you'll enjoy your work, you'll be enthusiastic, and you'll probably find yourself working on improving your skills just for the sheer joy of it.

You will be working to reach your full potential. You'll probably soon find you are making more money at this truly interesting occupation than you ever dreamed possible. And because you like what you are doing, you will be happier.

Then you know you are working to your full potential and you enjoy your work and feel successful. You will find that your self-confidence and happiness follow. Remember, the key is you must be realistic and honest with yourself.

If you set goals that you can't possibly reach, you are setting yourself up for failure. You will make yourself frustrated and unhappy.

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Finding Mom's Potential Is A Kids' Key, Part 1

If you want to use your talents and increase your ability to give to others, you'll have to exercise them. You'll really need to challenge your creative left sided brain! Only you can make up your mind to do something different.This process starts with identifying your current habits and deciding which habits need to change. Ask yourself, "Is this habit (i.e. watching TV at night) going to get me where I want to go?

To learn new skills and completely utilize your gifts, you need to determine your interests; what don't you like and what do you like. Sometimes just finding out those two things can be a challenge. Then, I recommend, with the qualities you don't like, dare to look deeper into the "things" you don't like and do them!! You will exceed any goal you make by doing this!

By doing this you will improve the way you do things, the quality of your work, your appreciation for what you already have, and your well-being as a whole.

What defines success? Luck, intelligence, talent, determination, and dedication are just a few of the characteristics that play into making the difference.
But we all know smart, gifted, hard-working people who do not consider
themselves very successful, content, or even happy. Plus, we know people who are not exceptionally bright but declare his/her self to be happy and successful.

So there is something else. Would you care to guess what the secret to happiness could be? Is it a magic "happy" pill, is it weight loss, and is it more money? I am sure many advertisers would like you to believe that!

Could you believe your secret to success and realizing your dreams is the same thing for everyone!? There are several ways to achieve desires and surpass you identified potential, but it all starts with the way you perceive your self - self image.

Your ability to meet your potential in life (work, relationships, hobbies, etc.) based upon how you think of yourself. Dissatisfaction and discontent is something you choose. So you have two options if you want to be "happy"...lower your expectations of yourself or rise to challenges.

Have you ever heard "Happiness lies in the journey, not the destination"? What do you think this really means? Is it that "happiness" is the expectation of something, the thrill and challenge of just not yet getting what we want, or it is that unclear, shadowy spot just out of our reach because no one in their right mind chooses to be miserable.

NO! It is not - - - Happiness is a conscious decision every single moment! Being present, in the moment and believing you are doing everything you can be doing, right now. This is the secret to happiness! We have to consciously choose to be happy, self-confident, and successful. (And I don't mean exaggerated, boastful, and bragging.)