Finding Mom's Potential Is A Kids' Key, Part III

Although most people are unnecessarily harsh in their assessments of his/her self, it is easy to become too hopeful when you start breaking down barriers. If, for instance, you love music and want to be a singer, it would be unrealistic to set your goal to be a singer when you sing off key because some talents are inborn. But if you are knowledgeable about the music business and would be happy being involved in another capacity, then it would be reasonable to pursue a career in that business.

Caution, don’t make reasonable goals unattainable because of a stringent time frame. When you set a goal, you will most likely set times for achieving the steps along to achieve your final goal. Even if you don't set the time frames formally, you will probably have a pretty good idea of how long you are giving yourself.

It's wise to sit down and formally set these goals. Think about it and give yourself reasonable time to achieve them. Make a deal with yourself to make these time limits flexible. Life has a way of interrupting.

Don't get discouraged if things don't work as planned. Sometimes finding our place takes both time and error. All of us experience failure. The key is to view the failure as a learning what not to do. Remain flexible. As long as you keep focusing on your talents and potential, the right piece will come along - and probably sooner rather than later. But don't quit! Even if you have truly found your niche, you will not feel enthusiastic 100 percent of the time.

Don't worry about others - don't compare your progress with others. No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone else who looks like she's getting where you want to go faster and easier than you are. Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. Who really cares?

Focus on your own achievements. There is NO room for competition…work to develop your skills and talents to their full potential. If you must compete, compete with yourself.

Your short term goals should be based on today's accomplishments. If you have reached Point A today, make Point B your next objective - improve yourself and don't worry about the other guy.

OK. You have decided what your ultimate goal is. Make sure it is a well-defined goal. "Someday I want to be famous" just doesn’t cut it. Define exactly what you want to do. Define a legitimate time frame. Know what you have to do to get there. The smallest detail is not important but the big picture and many of the big details do matter.

If you have a goal in mind but don't know what it takes to reach it, then you need to find out. Do some reading, talk to people who know, ask questions and LISTEN to the answers.

Does this sound like a lot of work? It should, you are doing what is needed to be successful and happy. One phrase is very true… “Happiness isn’t free.” Because those who have it know you have to work at it.

Anyway, a little research into what it takes to reach your goals isn’t too difficult because it is something you want to do.

Train yourself into making this "research" the next chapter of your life. You will be focusing on your strengths, on your purpose, and on learning and doing. If you have chosen a goal that is right for you, focusing on these things and devoting the necessary time should not be too difficult.

It may take a bit of self-discipline at first, but your determination and interest will carry you through until the focusing process becomes a habit. When you have a real desire to accomplish something, your initiative should only require an occasional shove - you may need to give it a nudge every once in a while.

Get into the habit of visualizing your success. Not sitting around and daydreaming in generalizations. I mean, you need to visualize specifics. Picture in your mind how you will work your play to your goal if your opponent makes a play. What will your next response be, how will you react? Visualize the specifics. If you run through the specific moves in your mind, you will be prepared.

Don't be afraid to use your imagination to visualize new and better ways to accomplish things. In your mind, do the things in ways that are different from your usual response. This is a creative process called creative thinking. Thus, training yourself to think creatively is largely learning to let your imagination work on methods that are different from the "way things have always been done."

This is breaking away from the idea that there is only one way to do something effectively. It's looking at a problem from all angles. Asking "what if" is a great place to start. It's OK to think “out of the box”. But, you must also spend some of your thinking time at specific visualizations of the moves you need to make to accomplish your goals.

Physical practice of your skills is also critical to success. Practice the boring little skills that are necessary as well as the skills you enjoy. Don't let yourself rely on just the things that come naturally and easy to you, work your weakest assets to develop them. Work on developing the more general attributes that are important to any goal:

1) Success comes more easily to those who have an agreeable personality (don’t bend over backwards to please every person’s wishes, but be respectful and true to your beliefs).So be flexible, accept other’s ideas, seek out and learn from others;

2) Learn minimize emotional responses. We are all susceptible to errors in judgment; strong reactions have little place in decision making, however. Hold your emotions in check. Try to delay decisions if you are in an emotional state. Learn to ignore your emotions and use reasoning to arrive at your decisions;

3) Develop the habit of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is a magnet - it draws people and success. It's a pleasing personality trait that people like to be a part of. Be contagious - it sparks initiative and purpose; and

4) Develop the habit of focusing on your goals, on your strengths, on learning and "researching," on visualizing, and, of course, on enthusiasm.

Now you need to assess if your habits that may be annoying to others. Offensive habits can hold you back from success. It will be very difficult to assess your own habits accurately. After all, a habit is something we do without thinking much about it. You will have to spend some time at this and be very conscious of yourself. Ask someone you trust to help you and then substitute that habit with a more pleasing behavior.

OK. Now, you have set definite goals, you have a purpose, you have researched and know the specific steps to take to achieve the goals, you have resolved to be flexible, and to further develop your pleasing personality. Now what?

Well, success will not drop into your lap overnight.

As you advance toward your goals, you will come against some difficult people, and there will be times you'll need to deal effectively with them. Since you are working on becoming a nice, enthusiastic person and a team player, you already have half the battle won. Your attitude is as important as the other guy's attitude when you are dealing with difficult people.

Keep in mind your job is a training field for you. View your job as a paid opportunity to advance toward your goals. You will be a happier, a more productive person. Viewing your job in this manner will allow you to view the difficult people you come across as an opportunity to grow. From them and the situations they create, you will learn to negotiate with, side-step around, and draw out the best in others without letting yourself become upset.

Each time you successfully deal with one of these people you will gain confidence and friends to add to your support network. The skill of negotiating is not a contest of wills - it is working together to solve a problem or come to an agreement. It is an opportunity to learn.

- Be prepared,
- Know who you are talking with (always know as much as possible about the person, this information will be the most effective way to get your point across).
- Know the issue - not just your opinions about it.
- Always enter into negotiations with a calm and reasonable manner (be courteous and leave them a chance to save face).
- Be prepared to face people who are not calm and reasonable (don't let them get to you).
- Play "Let's Make A Deal," (be prepared to not get everything you want).

To develop your potential to it's fullest, you need to become a more a efficient and effective person - get more done in less time with magnetism. The first barrier to efficiency is procrastination - putting off getting started. Like Nike, “Just Do It!”

So how do you beat procrastination? Get organized and plan ahead. Know what you want to accomplish and make lists. Now look over the lists and rank the tasks in order of importance. Make three or four groupings based on importance. Within each group, star the things you least like to do.

Each day you will have a "today" list to work on. Tackle the tasks that are most important first. If you have several "most important" tasks, do the least liked things first. When you have accomplished a task, check it off. You'll be surprised at the sense of accomplishment you will have at checking things off.

Do you see what is happening? You get the most pressing, least liked tasks out of the way early in the day when you are fresh and rested. As the day goes on you will feel less and less pressure. You have reserved the less important tasks for the end of the day when you will be more tired.

With this system you will increased your efficiency and reduced your stress because stress gets in the way of efficiency. Another important part of efficiency is delegating. If you are in a position where you have assistants or designated people under your supervision, you need to learn to delegate. If you are not in such a position yet, you still need to know - since you're working on developing your potential you very likely will be some day.

Delegating work is difficult for many people. Some find it hard to ask others to do things for them - others find it hard not to demand that others do tasks. Delegating is an art.

First, you need to realize that the people under your supervision are PEOPLE. You should never demand - it takes away self respect. People who are asked to do a task, are given explanations and clear instructions, and are praised for a job well done will grow self-respect and loyalty.

When you delegate work, don't delegate just the "junk" tasks. Delegating important task shows them your respect for them and the faith you have in their abilities. So, it's a good idea to save some "junk" tasks for yourself. Perhaps the most respected and effective boss is the one about whom the crew says, "She never gives us anything to do that she wouldn't do herself."

All of us have untapped potential, perhaps even areas of genius, we have neglected to develop. What ever your concept of success, developing your potential will help you achieve your goals. If you learn to assess your potential, set realistic goals, and go after those goals with determination, organization, and purpose, you will use your potential more fully, gain confidence, and be a happier and more successful person.